


Why?

by DeathAroundtheBend



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Maybe - Freeform, Mild Language, Mostly because I don't know how went to school, Not A Fix-It, Not Beta Read, Time Travelling Harry Potter, With the marauders, some original characters - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:26:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24391273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathAroundtheBend/pseuds/DeathAroundtheBend
Summary: Harry ends up back in time and starts Hogwarts with his parents. Why he's there Harry has no idea. All he wants to do is go back home, not go through school again. Why does the world hate him? And why does his name have to be Icarus, it sounds sticky.
Relationships: TBD - Relationship
Comments: 5
Kudos: 95





	1. Chapter One

It felt as if someone was pounding his head in, but in reality it was only someone knocking on the door.

"Icarus, dear, it's time to get up," a woman's gentle voice called.

'Icarus' did not offer a response.

"Well you better be showered dressed and down stairs in twenty minutes, alright?"

Again 'Icarus' offered no response.

He heard the lady's footsteps fade downstairs and he tried his best not to panic.

This was bad, very, very, bad. He didn't know where he was, or who's bed he was lying on.

'Icarus' got up and, locking all these troubling thoughts away, went to what he thought was the bathroom.

He almost screamed again seeing his reflection in the mirror. What the everlasting f*ck happened to him? When did he become a ginger? Well his hair was more of an auburn than ginger, but still! What?

And when did he become a child? Last time he checked he was a 27 year old man with a bird-nest-like black mop of hair on his head. Last time he checked he wasn't a young child about 10 that had curly, soft, and not bird-nest-like auburn hair.

Nor did he have turquoise instead if jade colored eyes last time he checked.

"Icarus, I'm not joking we have to get going if we want to get there in time. Hurry up and take a shower!" The lady who had knocked on his door called.

That snapped him out of his mini panic attack. 

He rushed back into the room he woke up in, and started to rummage through the drawers and closet.

He would take a shower now and worry about his problems later. He didn't want to face the wrath of who he thought might be this body's mother.

So again he locked away his thoughts in a metaphorical glass box and hoped in the shower. He felt uncomfortable washing a small body that didn't even belong to him, as if he was peeping on a child.

He finished showering quickly and, after thoroughly cleaning the boxers he had found with some (more difficult than usual) wandless magic, hurriedly dressed.

He rushed downstairs and stopped at the kitchen door, where he saw the lady that was perhaps his mother humming and making breakfast. She looked like an ideal mother, or what he thought an ideal mother would look like. He never had a mother so he didn't know.

His maybe mother turned around, her apron went perfectly with her dress, 'Icarus' noticed, but he should really stay on track.

"Good- Good morning," 'Icarus' said, voice squeaky and high.

The lady gave him a bright and warm smile, "Good morning, hun, did you sleep well?"

'Icarus' nodded.

"Good. Come sit down for breakfast," she beckoned him to sit.

A plate full of food was placed in front of him after he sat down.

"Now eat up," his maybe mother told him. "You have a long journey ahead of you," he looked at him with so much fondness and so much love that it made him feel sick to his stomach.

"Are you alright my dear?" His maybe mother asked, wiping her mouth elegantly and in a motherly fashion (if that was even possible). "You're quieter than usually. Are you feeling sick?" Her brow creased in motherly concern.

'Icarus' wanted to cry, he wanted to laugh, he wanted to puke, and he wanted to scream. He was not alright.

"I'm fine," he said in his awful squeaky voice.

"I know what's wrong."

'Icarus' gulped, "You- You do," Circe, his voice was awful.

"Yes I do." She sighed, "You're nervous about going to Hogwarts for the first time aren't you?" So much motherly love radiated off of her, "It's not your fault and it never will be."

What?

She must have mistaken his confusion for sadness, "Honey bun, look at me," she said. "What happened to your father is not your fault. I know it's hard to think otherwise, but I know that he would be proud that you decided to overcome your fear of magic and go to Hogwarts. He would be proud that you decided to follow in his footsteps. What happened to your father was an accident, so stop blaming yourself for what happened."

What the bloody hell happened?

From what he gathered, he was an eleven years old kid with a fear of magic going to Hogwarts. He feared magic because of something that happened to his father, most probably accidental magic which resulted in his father's death or something equally as horrid. He wasn't a muggle born because his father went to Hogwarts, but he didn't know if his mother was a witch or a muggle. He also didn't know the year.

He went upstairs to his room once he finished his breakfast to grab his trunk and looked around for anything useful.

"C'mon honey bun, let's get going," his most definitely mother called from downstairs.

'Icarus' crammed some pens into his coat pocket and went to leave but spotted a notebook under one of the pillows on the bed.

It was a journal. He let out a whoop of excitement, finally something useful.

He rushed downstairs, journal (definitely not diary) in one hand and trunk in the other. He met his mother by the door and then they hopped in the car and she started to drive.

Harry, known as 'Icarus', once again locked away any and all thoughts in his metaphorical glass box. He'd deal with them later when he was alone and could have a breakdown in peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I'll continue this. If you want a more thought out fic I suggest you read my other story (I update it every five days, 5th, 10th, 15th, ect.) Tell me if you want me continue, if I do, this fic won't have an update schedule, I'll just update this whenever I want.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't own Harry Potter.  
> Don't take this fic seriously, I'm certainly not.  
> There's more swearing in this, and there'll will be more.  
> I don't know what I'm doing or where this story is going.  
> Good luck.

Harry stared out the car window trying to ignore the music his mother was playing. It had started raining awhile back and all Harry could think was _'Ha mood'_.

He hated the music playing, but he wasn't about to say anything. The music went perfectly with his mother's character. The music was happy and cheery, he wanted to scream, it was too perfect, just like his mother.

It was like the lady was programmed to be the ideal mother, she had curly golden locks and she was always smiling, _always_.

With the car parked, they walked into the station. His mother was like a ray of sunshine compared to the people in the station who looked like literal zombies.

"Now remember," she said when they stopped in front of the magic barrier. "Take deep breaths whenever you feel scared. You'll be okay hunny bun." She took him by the shoulders, "I want you to write to me at least once a month. If you need anything send an owl. I'll make sure to send you sweets when I can." She wrapped her arms around him in an embrace. "I've got to go now, but remember I love you, and I always will no matter what," and with that she walked away.

By the Gorgons, Harry felt awful. This lady said she would love him no matter what, but would she still love him if she knew he wasn't her son?

He pushed his trolley through the wall, the platform, it looked the same but he didn't recognize any of the people.

Harry found an empty compartment in the middle of the train and sat down near the window. He still had a long time till the train departed, so he could explore and try to find someone he recognized, but he decided against it.

Instead he pulled out his journal, the first page had _February 12th 1966_ sprawled across the top in messy handwriting. Harry felt his heart stop _'1966'_? Had he gone back in time or was this just some old journal?

The journal was his. The entries started when Icarus was six. They were innocent enough, the kid did normal kid stuff, but it seems as if the kid was falling behind in his classes. Also the kid _loved_ magic. The accident or whatever must have happened later.

He got to _December 28th 1967_ when the door slid open.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize someone was in here," a girl with carrot red hair said. "We can find somewhere else to sit."

"You can sit here if you want," said Harry, the girl looked oddly familiar and he couldn't help but feel as if he was forgetting something important. "I'm the only one sitting here anyways, so I wouldn't mind some company."

The girl turned and had a whispered conversation with the tall raven haired boy behind her. He also looked familiar to Harry.

The girl sat down across from him with her companion on her side, "thanks for letting us sit here," she smiled and stook out her hand. "I'm Lily, by the way, Lily Evans, and this is my best friend Severus Snape."

Harry wanted hurl. Now he knew why this year was important and why the two children looked familiar. His parents started school in 1971, he somehow ended up back in time who knew how many years, he certainly wasn't about to count. He was horrible at maths, he wondered why Hogwarts didn't teach maths.

The situation was laughable. Here he was sat across from his real mother and all he could think of was Hogwarts lack of math classes.

"Im-" Harry paused, he couldn't use his actual name, not with his father around. He'd have to use 'Icarus', he sighed, he didn't like the name, it sounded sticky. "I'm Icarus Grimpen," like the Grimpen Mire from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's _The Hound of the Baskervilles._

Harry wanted to laugh again. Why'd he remember that tidbit of random information at this particular moment?

"It's very nice to meet you," said Lily, "Sev's not much of a talker," the fire present in her eyes suggested she would fight anyone who said that was a bad thing.

Harry simply nodded, "Neither am I," he said and went back to his book, not trusting himself to talk to the others.

Lily frowned as if it wasn't okay that Harry didn't want to talk, bit hypocritical, but she was only a child. She let him read for a few minutes before her curiosity got the better of her.

"Whatcha reading?" She asked.

"Notes," Harry lied, he certainly wasn't about to tell her the truth.

"What on?"

"Stuff."

"What type of stuff? Can I see?" She tried to take the book from Harry but he didn't let her.

"It's private," he scowled, his future mother or not, she can't take other people's things. "It's my father's," he lied.

Lily didn't look happy, "Why'd he give you his notes?"

"He didn't," the lies just rolled off his tongue, "my mother did."

"Why'd your mother give them to you? Why not your father?"

Merlin, did all children ask this many questions? Harry knew a way to shut her up.

"He's dead," he told her flatly, "that's why," he then went back to reading.

Lily sat there gaping for a while before closing her mouth and averting her gaze out the window.

Harry read a couple more entries, Icarus really liked reptiles it seemed, particularly geckos.

He came across a tear stained page which read: 

> _May 15th 1968_
> 
> _It's all my fault. All my fault that dad's dead. He died because of me. I killed him._
> 
> _Mom doesn't think so, she says it's not my fault, but it is._
> 
> _It's my birthday today so when I went down for breakfast this morning I expected birthday waffles. But mom and dad said it wasn't my birthday so I didn't get waffles. I left, went to hang out with the guys. I was angry, but I thought for sure they would remember my birthday. They didn't, so I left them too and went to the woods. I felt as if I was on fire. I was so angry I screamed and cried._
> 
> _When I went home the car was gone, I thought they left me, made me angrier. I went in, the lights were off so I turned them on and people jumped out at me._
> 
> _Turns out they had planned a surprise party for me. I know I should have felt happy or relieved but all I felt was anger._
> 
> _I can't really remember what happened during the party except that after they sang happy birthday and we're waiting for me to blow out the candles. I felt angrier than I had before and I don't know why. When I blew out the candles the fire didn't go out, instead it turned into a monster, I don't know what it was, but it took my anger with it. It started to burn things, it spread fast and it was alive trying to burn everything._
> 
> _Mom and dad rushed us out of the house. Dad went back in to try to stop it or something I don't remember, but he went back in._
> 
> _The house collapsed. Firefighters arrived too late. They couldn't save him. It's all my fault._
> 
> _Somehow my room was fine, it made me laugh and laughing made me cry._
> 
> _We're staying with Mrs. Henarod and her family. Susan keeps trying to hug me. I don't like their cat._

The entry ended there. Harry continued to read. Icarus was sent to therapy shortly after, and feared magic so bad he had to go home from school some days because the books they read contained magic. They moved which explains why Harry didn't see a forest when they'd left. The boy didn't have friends but he didn't seem to care because he was afraid he would hurt someone.

It saddened Harry to think of what the boy went through, but Harry would have given anything to have Icarus's childhood. What the boy went through wasn't as bad as having to sleep in a cupboard or being starved as a punishment.

All he wanted to do was go home. He missed his son, his godson, and his wife. Right now he would give anything to go back to his broken relationship. It didn't matter what, he just wanted to go back and be with his kids.

Sh*t, his _kids._

Who would even look after James and Teddy now that he was gone? Everyone else he knew threw themselves into their work to distract themselves from the after maths of the war. Hell it's why he got married- and it's probably why Ginny said yes.

Would people think that he just up and left? He could see it now _'Boy Who Lived, Savoir of the Wizarding World abandons his family, read all about in today's Prophet.'_ Sure his marriage is in shambles, but he would never abandon his children.

He was suddenly tired, so, so tired. He thought he'd left all the crazy adventures in the past. Well, this was technically the past, but still he just wanted to go home. He must be cursed, even with Voldemort gone he couldn't rest.

He sprang up, surprising his companions. Voldemort was alive, the first war with him was still being waged. He groaned and fell back into his seat. He wanted to cry, scream at the heavens above and ask them why he was here, but all he could do was sit quietly and do nothing. Absolutely nothing could be done at the moment, he might have them memories and experience of an graduated student, but this body didn't have any practice with magic. It was definitely going to be harder to learn how to control his magic again.

He wanted to tear out his hair, his wand would be different too. Harry sprung up again. His wand, where was his wand? Did he even pack it? Sh*t, what if he had left it, then what? He couldn't just show up at Hogwarts and say 'Hey I forgot my wand at home, do ya think I can take the train back so I can get it?" No they would never let him do that.

He threw open his trunk, searching frantically for it. He ended up poking himself with it. He pulled the wand out, it didn't look anything like his old wand. Would this wand even work now that he had taken over this boy's body? Harry shuddered that sounded wrong, but then again everything about this was wrong.

He gave it a wave, tried the easiest spell he could think of, and it worked, thank Mother Magic.

"How'd you do that," asked Lily.

Ah sh*t, that's right, he wasn't alone.

He cleared his throat and sat back down, "Do what?" He hoped feigning ignorance would help.

It didn't.

"You just did a spell, you made your wand light up. How'd you do that? What spell did you just do?"

Before Harry got a chance to respond Severus spoke up, "He cast lumos, the light spell. It's one of the first we learn. Did your mother teach you it?"

How was he supposed to respond to that? Icarus' mother was a muggle, his father a wizard, but he was dead so he couldn't have taught him. He knew Icarus' grandmother was alive, she was also a witch so Harry could claim she taught him.

"My grandmother, actually. My mother's a muggle, my father was a wizard."

"So you're a half-blood then?" Lily asked and Harry nodded, "I'm a muggle born, but Sev's also a half-blood."

"Good to know," Harry said slowly. He honestly didn't give a d*mn about people's blood status, they were all people in the end, humans. Well no- not really considering vampires, veelas, goblins and many more weren't human, but were still part of the wizarding community. Then again most people already looked down on anyone that wasn't human.

Man, the wizarding world was f*cked up.

He felt the urge to cry again, would he ever get a chance to live normally?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There probably a bunch of mistakes in this, sorry, like I said last time: if you want a more serious thought out fic read my other one (if you want).  
> Good day pals.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, but I already had it written so I posted.

The answer was no.

The compartment door slid open revealing two boys. Two boys that Harry didn't want to see at the moment. His father and his godfather.

Why did the world hate him?

"Do you mind if we sit here? Everywhere else is full," his father asked.

"No," Harry responded quickly.

James frowned. "Alright we'll leave then," he moved to slide the door close.

"No, I meant I don't mind you sitting here, not that I didn't want you to sit here. You asked if I minded, I don't mind." He turned to his companions. "What do you two think? Wanna let them sit here?"

The two had a silent conversation with their eyes. "Alright," said Lily, "they can sit here."

James sat right next to Harry with Sirius to his right.

Harry let out a shaky breath.

Dead people. He was surrounded by dead- but alive- people, he really wished he wasn't.

"I'm James Potter," his father said, "and this is my best mate, Sirius Black."

"Howdy," his godfather greeted them.

"Howdy?" Asked his mother.

"It's like slang- from America."

"Have you ever been to America?"

"I think you mean the US," commented Severus.

"What," asked Sirius.

"It's the US, not America. There's North America and South America so you can't just say it's slang from America. You have to be specific."

"Right…"

Harry knew the two boys would try to get him to talk so he decided to do what anyone would do in his situation.

 ~~He faked his death~~. He pretended to sleep. That way they wouldn't bother him, but he could still hear what they were saying.

And the children being the oblivious creature that they were didn't notice he was ~~dead~~ 'sleeping' until a while later.

"Is he sleeping?" Asked James Potter poking Harry in the arm.

"I think so," replied Lily Evans.

"Hey, what's that book he's holding," asked a bored Sirius Black.

"Notes from his dead dad."

"Really?" The boys asked together.

"What type of notes?" Asked James.

"I don't know." Lily shrugged. "He wouldn't say."

James shared a mischievous look with Sirius, "We could find out now," he started.

"He wouldn't find out," Sirius finished.

"Mmm… I don't know guys…" Lily told them, uncertainty filling her voice.

"C'mon Evans," James whined. "What Grimpen doesn't know won't hurt him."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "C'mon Evans."

"...Fine," she relented. "But you have to take the book," she told James.

The boys smiled cheekily.

"Of course."

Harry who had not only heard their conversation, but who had also lived through a war and had auror training knew exactly what he would do next.

He'd scare the sh*t out of them.

So when James reached to take his book Harry, with his eyes still closed, grabbed his arm and told him off.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he muttered creepily. "Be careful or you might.. just.. get.. hurt.."

James squealed like a pig, jumping back into Sirius' lap out of fright.

It took everything Harry had to not start laughing like a maniac and continue to 'sleep'.

"How- what- why?" James spluttered.

Lily leaned towards Harry, "Did he do that in his sleep?"

"I think so," James said shakily.

"Wicked," Sirius breathed. "Wish I could do that."

While the other children were fooled Severus was not. That's why he didn't object to the trio's plan to take Grimpen's notebook.

After years of living with his father he knew when someone was sleeping and when they were faking. It was a good thing his father couldn't tell the difference.

Icarus Grimpen piqued Severus' curiosity, there was something about the boy that was un-boy like. Severus was determined to figure out what made this boy act so strange. And maybe if he was lucky, the un-boy like boy's secrets.

Noon rolled around and Harry decided it would be a great time to 'wake up'.

He gave an over exaggerated yawn. "Hey guys. What time is it?"

"Noon," Severus responded.

Harry nodded. "Has the trolley witch come by yet?"

"No."

"You're missing two letters," Harry told him seriously. "On."

"What?"

"Not what, that's four letters. You're missing two. On."

"What's on?"

"The two letters that you're missing are on."

"What?"

"We've been over this. Not what, it's on."

"What _is_ on?"

"The two letters you're missing."

Severus sighed, exasperated.

The others were just staring at Harry, confusion writing all over their faces.

Harry snickered at his own joke. "N- O. O- N. No. On. It's a joke. Put it together."

"N- O- O- N," Severus muttered. "Noon… noon!"

"Ding, ding, ding!" Harry rang an imaginary bell. "Ladies and gents we have a winner!"

The others just stared at Harry which caused him to burst out laughing.

He wiped a tear from his eye. "Ah, I'm crying." He dissolved into a fit of giggles. "Your faces. Circe, I can't breath," he weazed.

Stupid humor always helped when one was in the past stuck in a compartment with dead loved ones and bitter potions professors. 

The looked on said potion professor only made the whole joke better.

If looks could kill then Harry would be dead again.

"Sorry, sorry." Harry cleared his throat. "My apologies, I have an awful sense of humor, please forgive me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still technically on Hiatus/break.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning?: Harry has a huge rant.
> 
> (I'm still technically on hiatus, just wanted to write something.)

Harry sat staring out the window sucking on a blood pop when the topic of Houses came up.

"I'm going to be a Gryffindor!" Exclaimed James. "My whole family's been in Gryffindor."

"I'm also going to be a Gryffindor." Sirius told them. "The Blacks have been Slytherins for centuries so I'll be the first to break that 'tradition'." He sneered.

"What's so bad about Slytherin?" Inquired Lily.

James scoffed. "Slytherins are pure evil. No good witch or wizard has ever come out of the house of slimy snakes.

"Gryffindor is by far the best house. Gryffindors are the heros, the good guys. Slytherins are evil, the bad guys." He explained.

Harry scoffed. Gryffindors weren't all heros and not all Slytherins were evil. Sure most were, but that was because they really didn't have a choice.

"Something you wanna say, Grimpen? Eh?" James challenged.

"Yeah." Harry said, still watching the scenery. "You're wrong."

"What makes you say that? Do you want to be a Slytherin?"

Harry shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me where I go."

"Then why are defending those slimy snakes!" Sirius accused.

"Because no house is 'bad' or 'good'." Harry sneered. Merlin, the amount of time and energy he'd spent obsessing over and fighting Malfoy was absurd. "Sure most 'evil' people come from Slytherin but that's because they are ambitious enough to do something. I can assure you the other houses have their equally share of evil people."

"Yeah like who?"

Harry frowned. He couldn't name anyone because most of the people he had in mind were children.

James smirked victoriously. "See? You can't name anyone because only Slytherins are evil."

Harry's jaw clenched. "Can you name any Slytherin that is evil. And I don't mean you don't like them I mean like they tried to kill, maime, torture, or enslave the masses."

James smiled. "Grindelwald." He said smugly.

"Are you an idiot? Grindelwald didn't even go to Hogwarts."

"What? Of course he did!"

"No. He went to Durmstrang."

"Whatever," James muttered. "Hey Evans what house do you want to be in?"

"Oh, I wanna be in Gryffindor!" Lily told him excitedly and James shot Harry a smug look.

"Awesome, hopefully we'll be in the same house." He winked which caused Lily to giggle.

 _'Ew.'_ Harry thought. _'At this point I want to be in any house except Gryffindor. My dad's just-'_

"Hey Snape you never said what hose you wanted to be in." Sirius said, interrupting Harry's train of thought. "You gonna join us in Gryffindor or are ya gonna join Grimpen's journey of doom?"

Severus' face screwed up in mild disgust. "Does it really matter where I think I'll go, seeing as we don't get to decide?"

Sirius scoffed, "Uh, yeah. Of course it does."

"Well in that case I don't care which house I'm in as long as I'm not grouped with either of you two prats." Severus sneered.

Harry sensed a fight coming, so he intrevined. "What about the other two houses?"

"What about them?" Asked Sirius gruffly.

"What's your opinion on Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff?"

"They're okay," James told him, "but not as good as Gryffindor."

Man, Harry really didn't like his dad right now. "And why's that?" He grit out.

"Cause Ravenclaws are a bunch of swots who don't do anything but read."

It was wrong to punch a kid, but technically Harry and his dad were the same age now so…

 ~~Sadly~~ Harry restrained himself. "Okay," he breathed. "Okay. What about Hufflepuff?"

"What about them?"

"Who belongs in Hufflepuff?"

"The leftovers." James said simply.

"WHAT!?"

How _dare_ he! Harry couldn't believe his ears. _'Leftovers my arse.'_ ~~Rant mode engaged.~~

"For your information, Potter." Harry spat, fixing said boy with a deadly glare. "Hufflepuff is by _far_ the _best_ house. It is not the house for _'leftovers'_ as you put it. It is the house for those who are _loyal_ , hard working, _fair_ , and honest. 

"It is for those who will stay by their friends _no matter what_ , even when facing _death_. It is a house for those who will not accept a victory if it is not won fairly. It is a house for those who try constantly to prove themselves. A house for those who try to bring a smile to people's faces even when _they themselves_ are hurting.

"The house of the Badger tops the houses of the Eagle, Lion, _and_ Serpent. If it weren't for Hufflepuffs the school would probably not even be here for us to attend! And for your information, _Potter_ : honey badgers eat porcupines and poisonous snakes, raid bee hives for honey, kidnap baby cheetahs and they will not only steal food from lions, but will also _fight_ them.

"It also devours all of its prey, which, by the way, consists of small mammals, birds, reptiles, insects, dead animals, the young of large mammals, and, of course, honey." Harry listed off on his fingers.

"So no, Hufflepuff is not the house for the _extras_ , the _leftovers,_ the _spares_ , or those who didn't qualify for the other _'great'_ houses. They are their own people, as is everyone, and a house does not- does not- _define_ you. A house is simply something... _extra_ that is _not needed_. Because really, all a house does besides create strife is try to fit us into a mold that no one fits since we are all our own people!"

Harry's voice had risen and he had stood up at some point during his rant. He panted and ran a hand through his hair.

Sh*t, he hadn't meant to go off like that, but what James had said really upset him. He also, even if his father didn't know it, had essentially agreed with Voldemort. ("Kill the spare!")

Merlin and Morgana! Now he was going to be plagued by nightmares for at least a week!

He glanced at the stunned faces surrounding him and let out a shaky breath.

D*mn it all to wizarding hell, he wanted to cry.

Wait. Why did he hear someone slow clapping?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort chapters for the forcible future. I don't know why I'm focusing on this story instead of my other one...


	5. Chapter Five

“Wonderful performance, truly magnificent, I'm sure even the conductor enjoyed it seeing as you were shouting.” Sneered the teen at the door, who just so happened to be one Lucius Malfoy. “Now, I'm sure you are all excited, seeing as you are all first years, but really that is no reason to act like you were raised in a barn.” His face twisted into mild distast, “Unless of course you were which would explain your lack of manners and consideration for the rest of us on the train.”

Harry fell back into his seat, “Right, sorry, won’t do it again.” He couldn’t believe he just apologised to Malfoy, sure he had made up with Draco, but his father could go screw himself for all he cared.

Lucius smiled- Harry thought it looked rather condescending- “Good, now then, we will be arriving shortly, I suggest you change into your robes.” With an elegant and unnecessary swish of his robes the blonde disappeared.

As the other continued to stare at the door dumbly, Harry stood to grab his robes.

This was just great, everything was fine, totally fine, Harry definitely wasn’t about to lose his mind.

The announcement of their arrival snapped the others out of their stupor. Lily opened her mouth probably to try to talk to Harry, but he booked it the moment the train stopped. He had to get away and what better way than to get lost in a sea of students? He was about to walk up to the carriages when he heard a familiar booming voice.

“First years, first years, mind yer step now.”

Hagrid. Right, he was a first year again, which meant he had to ride the boats, okay this wasn’t so bad all he had to do was find a boat away from the future marauders and company, he could do that.

Finding said boat was easier than expected, maybe his luck was finally turning up. Maybe everything would be okay.

  
  
  


Everything was not okay.

He thought seeing Hogwarts again would be easy, he was wrong. So, so wrong.

Sure Hogwarts had been rebuilt after war- he even helped- but she was never the same. Too much death, so much destruction, even now he could still hear the echoes of war.

He definitely would be having nightmares.

Harry diverted his eyes down to the lake, he could faintly see the outline of the giant squid pulling them along. Harry wondered if he- or she- got lonely, he didn’t know the squid’s gender and he certainly wasn’t going to assume, as that would be rude. Did the squid have a name? How long had been around? Harry wasn’t sure, but starting down at the creature filled him with a sense of peace, things weren’t great but here on this small boat he felt safe, like nothing could go wrong. Harry smiled as his vision blurred with tears and leaned down to glide his hand over the water, everything would be okay. As long as he was on this boat he would be okay.

_‘Splosh!’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im back, I kinda don't have motivation for anything right now except this so yeah.  
> This isn't as proof read as it could be.  
> Sorry for those who are still waiting for my other fic to update, I have a bunch of different fic ideas, but no idea what to do for Too Many People.  
> No update schedual, but will try to post often-ish.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I went back and made a couple changes, mostly in just added a two short paragraphs in chapter 2.  
> (Harry's son James was born earlier that he was in canon. Teddy is about ten, James is about eight.)  
> If you have any questions ask and I'll do my best to answer.  
> (There a few minor changes in the other chapters too.)  
> Comments and kudos are appreciated.

He must be cursed. Here he stood, soaking wet -because some idiot kid decided it would be a great old dandy idea to rock the boat- with the other first years while Headmis- Professor McGonagall gave her speech about the houses.

“I’ll leave you all to smarten up a bit,” she glanced pointedly at Harry, “I will return when we are ready for you.”

Boy Who Lived, yeah more like Boy Who Had Rotten Luck. Really what was he supposed to do in this situation? He looked like a wet rat and felt like one too, also he was cold and miserable and did he mention cold because d*mn it was  _ freezing _ .

The screams startled him, he whipped around ready to attack- and it was just the ghosts.

Circe, children got scared so easily and at the stupidest things. Though he supposed it was better to be afraid of a snake then fearing that you could literally die at any moment. He wished he could be like them, only having to worry about a new school, but no, he was Harry Potter and when was his life ever that easy? The answer was never, his life was never that simple.

“Move along now,” commanded Professor McGoanagall and wow did Harry find it weird to think of her as a professor and not the headmistress.

Dumbledore was the headmaster at this time and honestly Harry didn't know how to feel about him being alive. On the one hand Dumbledore was like a grandfather to him on the other hand the man literally raised as a pig for slaughter. Great, his day couldn’t possibly get  _ any  _ better, nothing would top seeing his old mentor, whose murder had left him traumitized, alive and well with his infuriating twinkleling eyes and stupid grandfatherly persona. He hoped he wouldn't have to talk to the man because if he did he might just cry which wouldn’t be good because he was a complete stranger to Dumbledore. He knew Dumbledore, but  _ Dumbledore _ didn't know  _ him _ .

One by one McGonagall called up students to get sorted and one by one the line got shorter and shorter. Harry glared at the puddle forming at his feet no one was near him, probably because they didn't want soggy socks, but he swear if even one kid say that he has peed himself-

“Grimpen, Icarus.” 

Harry’s head shot up. McGonagall sounded slightly peeved, this probably wasn’t the first time she called his name then. Harry hurried up to the hat, cringing when his shoes squeaked.

“Well hello there,” murmured the hat once it was placed on his head, “lets see what we ah-” the hat fell silent.

_ ‘Yeah… does this hapen often?'  _ Harry thought pleasantly to the hat.

The hat took a while to respond, “No, it doesn't. Harry is it?” Harry nodded. “I've seen some things in my years, but never something like this, my my….”

_ ‘Sorry then, but i don't really have control over any of this or that really. I’m cursed I think, or I was seeing as I was a literal horcrux.’ _

“Yes I see, your life is quite messy Mr. Potter, you have many more memories I need to sort through.”

_ ‘Again sorry. I don’t suppose I can help?’ _

“No, just sit there for now, and ask that question you want to.”

_ ‘How do you know I want to ask a question?’ _

“I'm a magical talking hat that can read your mind, just ask the question.”

_ ‘Right okay. Is there any way you can help me? I mean I know you said this is the first time this has happened, but surely you must know something to help me get back.’ _

“Hmm… it’s also been sometime since I've had a kid that was a true- as they say- ‘hat-stall’.” 

_ ‘A what?’ _

“A hat-stall. Means you could go into two or more houses evenly, if that makes sense. Think of a pie chart divided equally in three. Now Slytherin, Gryffindor, or Hufflepuff, kid. Pick one.”

_ ‘Oh.. uh, Hufflepuff please.’ _

“Alright then, makes sense. Check the back left corner of the library. HUFFLEPUFF!”

The hat was yanked off his head and it took Harry a second to digest the hat’s hasty advice. Back left corner of the library, right got it.

Harry's face split into a wide grin as he walked off to join his fellow Hufflepuffs. He had a lead now and that was probably the best thing that has happened since he got here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did change Harry's age from 27 to 25 but then I decided I didn't like that so he is now 27 again.


End file.
